We need to talk about the merch
We need to talk about the merch
Cart 0
T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks
T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks
T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks
T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks
T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks
Solomon Odonkoh's Merchandise Emporium

T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks

Regular price £ 18.00 GBP £ 0.00 GBP

The ducks? What about them?

I literally just deleted three sentences full of duck puns and you're reading this instead because because just writing them was exhausting and I can't imagine what reading them would be like. Waddle you gonna do.

Anyway, this is my SECOND OFFICIAL piece of merchandise and don't give me all that I'll buy one later I'll come back to the site, I'll order a few once I've considered it all rationally thing because these suckers are gonna go quickly or, at least, the next time you come back to the website the offer will be over and you'll be all like James I missed out; James why have you stopped making those awesome shirts, James get out of bed before 1pm and go out and take a walk and make human connections.

These will be in stock in about four or five days. We did a reprint bc we weren't satisfied with the quality. That's right. Solomon's Empire cares about quality. These are premium tees. I can't tell you how premium they are because they're so premium that words fail me. Which they have never done hitherto. It's only when talking about how premium these tees are that words fail me. This is why Shakespeare's "We need to talk about the ducks Tshirt" play never made it past second draft. It was too ineffable.

SOME ACTUAL PRODUCT INFORMATION FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE INTO THAT SORT OF THING
Next Level Men's Premium Fitted Short-Sleeve Crew 100% combed ringspun cotton fine jersey; 4.3 oz.; 32 singles; fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; 1x1 baby rib-knit set in collar; Tear-away label; 
Length
Width
Sleeve
S
27.5
17.5
26.5
M
28.5
18.5
27
L
29.5
19.5
27.5
XL
30.5
20.5
28
XXL
31.5
21.5
28.5

Anyway, my agent said he needed "just one sentence about the shirts, James" and frankly this is more than I ever thought I'd write about t-shirts. So, just to say, I need you to buy lots of these and soon because this is a genuinely limited edition thingummmy; buy them for your friends, buy them for your family, buy them for people who JUST NEED MORE DUCKS IN THEIR LIFE.