T-Shirt: We need to talk about the ducks

The ducks? What about them?

I literally just deleted three sentences full of duck puns and you're reading this instead because because just writing them was exhausting and I can't imagine what reading them would be like. Waddle you gonna do.

Anyway, this is my SECOND OFFICIAL piece of merchandise and don't give me all that I'll buy one later I'll come back to the site, I'll order a few once I've considered it all rationally thing because these suckers are gonna go quickly or, at least, the next time you come back to the website the offer will be over and you'll be all like James I missed out; James why have you stopped making those awesome shirts, James get out of bed before 1pm and go out and take a walk and make human connections.

We did a reprint bc we weren't satisfied with the quality. That's right. Solomon's Empire cares about quality. These are premium tees. I can't tell you how premium they are because they're so premium that words fail me. Which they have never done hitherto. It's only when talking about how premium these tees are that words fail me. This is why Shakespeare's "We need to talk about the ducks Tshirt" play never made it past second draft. It was too ineffable.

SOME ACTUAL PRODUCT INFORMATION FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE INTO THAT SORT OF THING

Continental Unisex Classic Jersey T-Shirt. 100% combed cotton, 4.87 oz / 165 g

Mens Size Guide:

Ladies Size Guide:

Anyway, my agent said he needed "just one sentence about the shirts, James" and frankly this is more than I ever thought I'd write about t-shirts. So, just to say, I need you to buy lots of these and soon because this is a genuinely limited edition thingummmy; buy them for your friends, buy them for your family, buy them for people who JUST NEED MORE DUCKS IN THEIR LIFE.